Parker Mattson Family Trip

Sorry I have been MIA for a bit. I have been busy writing papers for grad school and vacationing with Eric's family in Parker, AZ. We had a wonderful trip with the the entire Mattson family. It was Eric's 35th birthday and we celebrated right with lots of yummy food. I had a blast cooking for the group and spoiling my pre-husband (as Big Eric called him). Here are a few pictures Chris captured of the trip!

Big Eric and Chris

Birthday Breakfast Spread

Birthday Flowers for Chris for giving Eric life 35 years ago

My present to Eric was framed copies of his band's CDs

Frosting Eric's birthday cake

The Whole Group

Proverbs 31:15

She rises also while it is still night

And gives food to her household

 

When I read this first line all I could think about was my dear girlfriends who so often get up with a restless baby in order to allow their husband to continue sleeping. What a beautiful sacrifice women make when they sacrifice sleep to care for their family. A good wife will sacrifice even sleep for the good of her family.

 

The second line here about giving food to the household brings me back to a blog post I made several weeks ago about cooking. I really believe this is a great skill that every wife needs to have. They don't say "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" for nothing. Food gives life and is an act of love and charity when done for others. Remember the reference to doing work joyfully from a few lines earlier? That should apply here too. A good wife will spend a lot of time in the kitchen but this can be a beautiful task if seen as an act of love.

 

A little note to any men reading this: 

If your wife cooks for you be gracious and thankful. Even if you think you could have cooked the meal better, don't criticize. Approach each meal with an attitude of thankfulness. It always makes me feel really appreciated when Eric thanks be for cooking for him. He is a great cook himself but he always shows so much gratitude for any meals I make him, not necessarily because they are award winning but because he knows that I cook out of love for him and he appreciates my efforts.

 

Like a Merchant Ship

She is like merchant ships

She brings her food from afar

Merchant ships travel great distances to bring the goods that they carry sometimes having to even endure great storms to get to there. A good wife is much the same, she will go to great lengths to meet the needs of her family. I do not mean to advocate wives working outside the home for I certainy belive that this is the duty of the husband but the needs of the family extend further than monitary support. A good wife will use the resources earned by the hard work of her husband to meet the physical needs of her family. I think this also applies to the emotional and spiritual needs to a family. I can think of so many wives and mothers who stayed awake countless nights praying for wayward children, consoling a sick child who can not sleep, thinking and praying over the work stresses of her spouse, and much more. A good wife will endure great storms with her husband and children in order to help them arrive safely at their destination which is heaven. A merchant ships pushes forward with great strength even when the journey is tough. How many looking back at their mothers would describe them as strong women who often times help the family together during difficulties. The strength of a wife and mother is incredible, just think if the strength of the Blessed Mother as she watched her son die on a cross. Mary endured a great trial and storm that day for the sake of ALL her children.

Words of Wisdom

A small break today from Provrbs 31 to share a great photo I saw today

Willing Hands...

The Catholic RSV translation of Proverbs 31:13 reads "She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands." To be honest I struggled today trying to discover what the Lord is telling us. I did a Google search for reflections on this verse and found that a lot of women believe it means a good wife is resourceful with her money. I agree that she is but I think their might be more to this verse than that because this is a Queen talking to her son who is a King so I am not sure being thrifty was a concern to her. Prayerfully digging further my mind started to focus more on the last two words "willing hands." Being a wife involves work; there are duties that she is responsible for and reflecting on these last two words of this verse I began to see the importance of doing those duties willingly and with joy. Another translation says she "works with her hands in delight." Saint Therese taught that we can serve God in the small things. Maybe one of the messages God is conveying to us through this passage is the importance of finding joy even in the seemingly unpleasant duties of family life. One might grumble about having to clean the house or get the kids to soccer practice or do her husbands laundry but how much better would it be if we saw those chores as opportunities to lovingly serve? How much more joy would it bring to every day if we approached each little bit of work as an act of love for our family and for Our Lord? Proverbs 31 is all about being a good wife. Maybe part of being a good wife is as simple as being joyful about the every day work and duties that are part of this great vocation.

She does him good and not evil...

"She does him good and not evil all the days of her life"

This verse from Proverbs 31 I think is the most straight forward and easy to understand but can be the most difficult sometimes to live out. We live in a culture where love is understood to be an emotion and when we don't "feel" love we assume we aren't really in love anymore, hence high divorce rates. Love is not an emotion it is a choice. If we want to know what love is we need to look to Christ who is the source of all love. What was Christ's supreme act of love? He died on a cross for us. Do you think he "felt" good at that moment? Of course not, so love is not about how we feel. Love is a choice to do what is best for the beloved. I know that there will be times in marriage when love will be tough. I am sure some people look at my blog posts and say "they are still in the honeymoon stage of love and she has no idea how tough it will be and how hard it will become to live out the things she writes about (actually I have already had people tell me this)." I agree that we are in the honeymoon phase of love (and I love it!) and I understand that life long love is a challenge but I do not agree that means I won't be able to live out the things about which I write. If a woman really loves her husband than she will work at every moment to act in ways that are best for him. Out of love for us God humbled himself, became man, and died a very painful death. God is not going to ask me to hang on a cross for my spouse but he is going to ask me to die to myself for him. Will this be easy? If I try to do it on my own it will be impossible; if I do it with Christ it will absolutely be possible. At every moment God gives us the grace we need to do His will  and to love others the way he loves them. My future spouse is not perfect and neither am I but in our imperfection God perfectly love us. With the grace of God helping us we can chose at every moment to love each other. One great piece if practical advice I recently heard that has helped with this is whenever there is tension stop and pray the rosary before you discuss the issue. Through that prayer Our Lady will help clear your mind, unite the husband and wife in prayer and center them on Christ before they discuss the issue at hand.

A good wife does her husband good and not evil all the days of his life. Lord, grant that myself and all women remember this verse any time we are tempted to nag, snap at, ridcule, or do anything with a lack of love towards our husbands. Help us to use you as our model and love even when the other does not appear worthy of our love. Give us the grace to persevere in love throughout our entire lives and never take for granted to love of our spouse. May we work every day to love our hubands more and better than we did the previous day. And when we fail to love help us to rely on you to seek forgiveness and seek your grace to avoid falling again.

The heart of her husband trusts in her...

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain.

 

One of the readings that will be read and mine and Eric's wedding mass is the controversial Ephesians 5. You know, the one that says "wives be submissive to your husbands..." and gets all the feminists up in arms? We chose that reading for a few reasons, first because it is beautiful and so true and second because people who reject it usually don't understand it and we wanted to give Fr. Thomas an opportunity to preach on it so those present at the wedding can hear just how beautiful those words are when properly understood. How does this connect to my verse from Proverbs 31 today? Submitting to ones husband is often misunderstood to believe that it means the woman has no say in anything. Fr. Thomas recently told Eric and I that he is the king of the home but I am his great counselor. Eric being my leader does not mean that he does whatever he wants and I have to just comply. If I am the good wife that Proverbs 31 speaks about then Eric will be able to trust my counsel and when making decisions he will think of me and my desires. Husbands will undoubtedly need guidance and help too as they make big decisions for the family. If the husband knows that his wife has given herself completely to the will of God he will be able to trust her when she offers him support and counsel. If the husband has a God serving wife her counsel with leave him with "no lack of gain" because she will be striving to support him and help him lead the family on the path to heaven. This verse inspires me because it reminds me how great a benefit it is to my beloved for me to be a good wife. What a joy it will be for him to believe that he can trust with his whole heart the woman he has chosen to spend his life with.