When Eric and I first started planning our wedding people often asked what was the theme we were going for (garden, beach, fancy, elegant, etc.) and the one word we both kept coming up with was holy. We want our wedding to at every moment reflect God. We want people to leave realizing they just witnessed a great sacrament. From the sacredness of the mass to every element of the reception we constantly asked ourselves what would most glorify God. We thought we might share a few elements that specifically reflect that so you can notice them at the wedding.
1. The Mass
We are having a full Catholic Mass because the Eucharist is the source and summit of our faith and Jesus himself. We firmly believe that our marriage will get all of its strength from the Eucharist and so we will begin our new life together with a celebration of that powerful sacrament. The music at the Mass was carefully selected to signal that this is a sacred event. The readings were selected because they represent three key aspects of marriage: that it has existed since creation, that male leadership is designed by God and is key to a good marriage, and that Mary must be present in marriage because as our mother she will be interceding for us and taking care of all our needs.
2. Attire
My dress and the dresses of the bridesmaids all reflect the dignity of woman desiring to reflect the holiness of a woman of God. We also asked our guests to observe the Church's dress code in order to maintain the sacredness of the space. <more on this in a later blog>
3. Music at the Reception
You will notice that all of the music is clean! We will not be playing any songs that use profanity, degrade women and the sexual act, or are all around dirty. We will also not be playing any music that would make someone want to dance inappropriately. The reception is a celebration of a holy sacrament and we do not want a single element of the festivities to be an offense again God. Don't worry, our music is amazing! There are plenty of songs out there that are great for dancing and still clean. We have a new found love of the 80s!
4. Alcohol
The only alcohol you will find at our reception will be wine. We opted away from an open bar because we did not want to encourage drunkenness at our wedding. Of course an open bar doesn't automatically equal drunkenness but we decided to just remove the temptation. We are opting to serve wine because it was served at a wedding where Jesus performed his first miracle and it has been a long Catholic tradition to serve wine at a wedding and other celebrations.
5. Our Lady of Fatima
We are getting married on the feast day of the final miracle at Fatima. Because of this you will find special ways that we are highlighting our Mother Mary on her special day!
6. Bouquet and Garter Toss
Instead of throwing my bouquet we will be doing an anniversary dance in which little by little married couples are eliminated from the dance floor based on years married until one couple remains who has been married the longest. That couple will receive the bouquet. We are doing this to honor life long married love! Eric will not be tossing my garter because I did not feel comfortable having him take something from under my dress and throw it into a crowd of single men.
Disclaimer:
Please do not take this blog as judgment. These are ways that Eric and I have opted to focus our wedding on the holiness of the sacrament. Please do not assume that if your wedding reception was different that we would say it was unholy.
Please continue to pray for us as we prepare for this amazing sacrament in which we desire to be a reflection of the love of God for the world!
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Dress to Impress...but who?
One thing I noticed about my mom when I was growing up was that every time she would buy new clothes she would bring them home and try them on for my dad. If he liked them they stayed, if not they got returned. I finally asked her one day why she does that? Her answer has stuck with me to this day; she said "he is the only one who I care to look attractive for." I thought then and believe even more now that her answer was beautiful and profound.
I recently read a book called "His Needs, Her Needs" about the five basic needs of men in a marriage and the five basic needs of women in a marriage. One of the the needs for men was to have a spouse they find attractive. This makes sense to me because men are very visual. In fact I have heard that it is their strongest sense. Men want to be physically attracted to their wife. Does the level of attraction he has for her affect his love for her? It shouldn't but that doesn't mean women should stop caring about being attractive for their spouse and take for granted that they will still love them. I love dressing nice for Eric and I know he likes it too. There are certain ways I wear my hair that every time I do he remarks "you look pretty today." On special occasions and date nights I make sure to pick one of those hair styles. He doesn't know I do this but it is just a tiny little way that I show my love for him and meet his need/desire of physical attractiveness.
I once met a lady who said she would run around with the kids all day in her comfy sweats and workout clothes and then 30 minutes before her husband came home from work she would shower and put on a dress. I thought that was so sweet and showed how much she cared to look nice for him. When people have company over they usually try to look nice so why not do the same for the most important person in your life. I bet her husband would have loved her just as much in her sweats but I bet he felt extra loved knowing she cared that much to dress up a little to welcome him home.
Taking this one step further I think this can apply even at bed time. No I am not about to tell women that you should wear slinky nighties to bed every night but I once heard a male friend say "flannel pajamas are artificial contraception and should be banned by the church." As silly as that is, it got me thinking. At night the only person who sees you is your spouse so why not take that opportunity to show how much you care to look nice for him by wearing attractive pajamas. I have had more fun these last few months buying all new cute pajamas for when Eric and I get married.
Please don't take this blog the wrong way and think I am supporting vanity or saying that a woman's worth is in how she looks. I know Eric loves me as much in sweats as he does in a pretty dress but why not look nice for him especially when it makes him feel loved? There is only one man who I desire to be found attractive by and that is my future spouse. So I look forward to following my mom's example and showing him the clothes I buy to get his opinion. In fact I have already done this when he helped me pick out my dress for his sister's wedding :)
Why not give it a try ladies. Dress up a little for your husband for a few weeks and see the reaction you get...
I recently read a book called "His Needs, Her Needs" about the five basic needs of men in a marriage and the five basic needs of women in a marriage. One of the the needs for men was to have a spouse they find attractive. This makes sense to me because men are very visual. In fact I have heard that it is their strongest sense. Men want to be physically attracted to their wife. Does the level of attraction he has for her affect his love for her? It shouldn't but that doesn't mean women should stop caring about being attractive for their spouse and take for granted that they will still love them. I love dressing nice for Eric and I know he likes it too. There are certain ways I wear my hair that every time I do he remarks "you look pretty today." On special occasions and date nights I make sure to pick one of those hair styles. He doesn't know I do this but it is just a tiny little way that I show my love for him and meet his need/desire of physical attractiveness.
I once met a lady who said she would run around with the kids all day in her comfy sweats and workout clothes and then 30 minutes before her husband came home from work she would shower and put on a dress. I thought that was so sweet and showed how much she cared to look nice for him. When people have company over they usually try to look nice so why not do the same for the most important person in your life. I bet her husband would have loved her just as much in her sweats but I bet he felt extra loved knowing she cared that much to dress up a little to welcome him home.
Taking this one step further I think this can apply even at bed time. No I am not about to tell women that you should wear slinky nighties to bed every night but I once heard a male friend say "flannel pajamas are artificial contraception and should be banned by the church." As silly as that is, it got me thinking. At night the only person who sees you is your spouse so why not take that opportunity to show how much you care to look nice for him by wearing attractive pajamas. I have had more fun these last few months buying all new cute pajamas for when Eric and I get married.
Please don't take this blog the wrong way and think I am supporting vanity or saying that a woman's worth is in how she looks. I know Eric loves me as much in sweats as he does in a pretty dress but why not look nice for him especially when it makes him feel loved? There is only one man who I desire to be found attractive by and that is my future spouse. So I look forward to following my mom's example and showing him the clothes I buy to get his opinion. In fact I have already done this when he helped me pick out my dress for his sister's wedding :)
Why not give it a try ladies. Dress up a little for your husband for a few weeks and see the reaction you get...
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
39 days to go
Eric and I will become husband and wife in just 39 days. Things are getting busier as all the little details have to now come together. I am excited to say that no one has really gotten stressed out yet. People keep asking me if we are stressed or freaking out yet but honestly we are not stressed or freaking out. We are just excited that the day is drawing closer and closer. God is blessing us beyond belief and we just can't wait to become husband and wife! I still sometimes stop and have to realize that this is really happening! These next 39 days will fly by! Please keep us in your prayers as we make final preparations for our special day!
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