One thing I noticed about my mom when I was growing up was that every time she would buy new clothes she would bring them home and try them on for my dad. If he liked them they stayed, if not they got returned. I finally asked her one day why she does that? Her answer has stuck with me to this day; she said "he is the only one who I care to look attractive for." I thought then and believe even more now that her answer was beautiful and profound.
I recently read a book called "His Needs, Her Needs" about the five basic needs of men in a marriage and the five basic needs of women in a marriage. One of the the needs for men was to have a spouse they find attractive. This makes sense to me because men are very visual. In fact I have heard that it is their strongest sense. Men want to be physically attracted to their wife. Does the level of attraction he has for her affect his love for her? It shouldn't but that doesn't mean women should stop caring about being attractive for their spouse and take for granted that they will still love them. I love dressing nice for Eric and I know he likes it too. There are certain ways I wear my hair that every time I do he remarks "you look pretty today." On special occasions and date nights I make sure to pick one of those hair styles. He doesn't know I do this but it is just a tiny little way that I show my love for him and meet his need/desire of physical attractiveness.
I once met a lady who said she would run around with the kids all day in her comfy sweats and workout clothes and then 30 minutes before her husband came home from work she would shower and put on a dress. I thought that was so sweet and showed how much she cared to look nice for him. When people have company over they usually try to look nice so why not do the same for the most important person in your life. I bet her husband would have loved her just as much in her sweats but I bet he felt extra loved knowing she cared that much to dress up a little to welcome him home.
Taking this one step further I think this can apply even at bed time. No I am not about to tell women that you should wear slinky nighties to bed every night but I once heard a male friend say "flannel pajamas are artificial contraception and should be banned by the church." As silly as that is, it got me thinking. At night the only person who sees you is your spouse so why not take that opportunity to show how much you care to look nice for him by wearing attractive pajamas. I have had more fun these last few months buying all new cute pajamas for when Eric and I get married.
Please don't take this blog the wrong way and think I am supporting vanity or saying that a woman's worth is in how she looks. I know Eric loves me as much in sweats as he does in a pretty dress but why not look nice for him especially when it makes him feel loved? There is only one man who I desire to be found attractive by and that is my future spouse. So I look forward to following my mom's example and showing him the clothes I buy to get his opinion. In fact I have already done this when he helped me pick out my dress for his sister's wedding :)
Why not give it a try ladies. Dress up a little for your husband for a few weeks and see the reaction you get...
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