As a new mom I see more and more clearly how much everyone needs a mother. As adults we may overlook the importance of our mothers because we seem to think we don't really need them anymore. But stop for a moment and reflect on how necessary they really are. To begin with, mothers obviously give us life. They give us our first place of safety, the womb, and then one day they endure incredible pain to bring us to the outside world. From there we depend on our mothers for every need. Our food comes right from their body. Every single day a mother literally gives a part of herself so her baby can live. Much of a moms energy and nutrients are given to the baby through her milk. A mother sacrifices her own body to nourish the body of her little one. I am convinced that mom's also have a superpower made just for their babies. Any time my daughter is upset we know one thing will comfort her: my arms. I am constantly amazed at how I can calm her. It really is like a superpower. If she is tired she will fall asleep in the comfort of my arms. If she is hurt she will feel better once she is snuggled up to me. When she is bored my dances make her smile and laugh (finally someone thinks I'm funny!). It seems that no matter what is ailing her, it can be fixed by mommy. Sometime she
fusses just because she wants mommy (those times secretly are my favorite).
As children grow and gain independence they slowly depend less on mommy. As toddlers they will venture off on their own at a park. As teenagers they will begin to question and form their own
opinions. As adults they will insist that they can figure it all out on their own. Time and time again, though, they will rush back to mommy when in need. The toddler who falls down runs to his mother for a kiss on the boo boo. The teenager might be embarrassed to admit it but they secretly want mom there for every big moment. The adult will eventually realize that they still need moms guidance. When a young girl becomes a mom herself, she will turn to her mom to guidance and finally admitted just how wise mom is. You see, we all need our mom.
I find as a new mom that I put a lot of pressure on myself to be a great mother. I want to give my daughter everything she needs and always do what is best for her. I don't mean materially, I mean
physically and spiritually. The reality is, though, that moms aren't perfect. I am going to make mistakes and look back wishing I did things differently. Even though I try to be the best mommy I can be I accept that I am capable to falling and not being perfect. All moms will at some point make a mistake...all but one that is. There is one woman who is the perfect mother. She is the definition of
motherhood and as mothers we should look to her for guidance. But this reflection isn't really about mothers, it's about us kids. We need our mommy and we need this perfect mother the most. This mother I am referring to is the blessed mother, the mother of our Lord.
Just like our earthly mother gives us life, so to does our Blessed Mother. When Mary said yes to bringing Jesus to the world to save us, she opened the door to new life. Her fiat was the way that led to our savior's sacrifice that gives us true life. Just as earthly mothers nourish us from their bodies so too does Mary. Jesus came from the body of Mary and in the Eucharist which is Jesus truly present (body, blood, soul, and divinity), we are fed and nourished. What an intense sacrifice of self was involved for Mary as she watched her son suffer and died so that we may live. Mary was willing to
sacrifice and suffer for us because we too are her children.
As we grow older we may think that we don't need Mary and we may even wander off like the toddler at the park but when we are in need she is a sure source of comfort. When we have fallen in our faith life and need help getting back up she will lift us up and wrap her mantle around us showing us that a mothers love never ends. She will lead up to the source of true happiness which is her son. When we experience intense pain weather physical or spiritual, it is often the embrace of our mother that consoles us. During my pregnancy I experienced a lot of sickness and a good friend once told me to let mother Mary care for me the way she cared for Saint Elizabeth. What beautiful and true advice that was. In my sickest moments, reaching out to the Blessed Mother brought me the greatest
strength. I knew that she was caring for me from heaven and with her arms around me I knew I could endure.
We are in the season of Advent right now and as we prepare to celebrate the coming of our Lord let us not forget that even Jesus Christ himself needed a mother. God chose to come as a little baby who was dependent on his mother. Mary's womb was the first tabernacle and her breast was His first source of food for His precious body. It was Mary who taught Him how to walk and it was she who was their when He fell and needed a kiss on His boo boo. It was also the Blessed Mother who met Him on that painful road to Calvary. When He fell under the weight of the cross it was an encounter with His mother that encouraged Him as He pushed forward. And at the end of His life while He hung on a cross, Jesus led us to see the great power of His mother by giving her to us as our mother. Let us use this time of Advent to draw closer to the woman who brought life to our Savior and who constantly seeks to help guide us to everlasting life in Him. Never forget how much you need your mother because she will certainly never forget you! The love I feel for my daughter is so intense that I can only imagine the love that the Blessed Mother must have for each of us her children.
I love my child <smiley face>." I have to first acknowledge that it is a beautiful thing to be able to see ones trials and love in spite of them. I would like though to propose a different approach to parenting. One that doesn't have a laundry list of difficulties one valiantly overcomes to still find joy. What if instead of thinking "uggg pooped on again" we thought "how silly that I just got popped on and how blessed I am to have that be a possibility because I am blessed with a child (or 2)." What if instead of thinking "when will I ever sleep again" we thought "how awesome it is to have a little miracle to tend to each night." Instead of thinking "long gone are the days of freedom and fun" and instead thinking of all the incredible growth a parent witnesses as they spend time with their children. For us moms, what if instead of thinking "when will I ever get my body back" we looked at the scars and changes to our figure and saw them as physical evidence that we loved with our whole self and are blessed to have had the opportunity to do so. Thinking like this may very well be counter-intuitive and not come naturally but if we begin to actively change the way we view parenting perhaps experiencing it as pure joy will become our first inclination. In order to grow in virtue we have to first willfully act virtuous and then the habit will form the the virtue will have been obtained. Even if you aren't yet at the point where the "struggles" are naturally joys, I propose at least speaking and writing about parenting with joy. Joyful parents are one of the best pro life messages. If I was a young girl thinking about my future and I read all these blogs about parenting being such a struggle and a stumbling block to joy I might think twice about being a mother. My personal longing for motherhood was deepened through mothers who joyfully served their family. I'm not saying parenting isn't hard but if we saw every aspect as a blessing it wouldn't feel hard anymore. What if instead of having to "offer up" aspects of parenthood, we just found joy in its every aspect. How can one achieve what I propose? I suspect it will come with a heart filled with gratitude. So many people long to be parents and would gladly take on what some see as crosses in order to participate in such a beautiful vocation. We must never take our children for granted. At the end of each day stop and think of the immense blessing your children are and as your focused thoughts change perhaps your heart will too and a heart filled will gratitude will yield a joyful soul.