Our Lady of Fatima

They said I would never run a marathon on a injured leg and I proved them wrong! My doctor is now thinking I may need induction to have this baby but once I again I can prove them wrong! Tomorrow is the anniversary of the apparition of Our Lady of Fatima in which she revealed the three secrets to the children she appeared to. Our Lady of Fatima has already been very special to our family so I am entrusting baby Mary's birth to her. I believe with all my heart that Mary can bring baby Mary to the outside world tomorrow on a special Fatima day if it is God's will. Perhaps all this time that is exactly what baby Mary was waiting for. Eric and I will be storming heaven from the adoration chapel tonight putting all into the hands of Christ, His Mother and Saint Therese asking to have peace and trust in whatever happens. In the Gospel of Matthew we are told: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened" (Mt 7:7). Tonight Eric and I will "ask, seek, and knock" at the adoration chapel and trust whatever God wills for this little ones birth. If that means induction then so be it. We are docile to the will of God and trust in His ways!

Vocation

Tomorrow I get to finally have two of my worlds come together. My beautiful friend Sr. Catherine Marie of the Dominican Sisters of Mary Mother of the Eucharist will meet Eric. Sr. Catherine tried so hard to foster a religious vocation in me and at times I too thought religious life could be my vocation. The problem was that as much as the life of a religious sister was beautiful to me, it just never felt quite right. I would see the peace and joy Sr. Catherine had as a sister and when I thought of that being my life the same peace and joy wasn't there. It was a mystery to both her and I as well as my spiritual director. I had to just keep trusting that one day it would all make sense. Well, I am so excited for Sr. Catherine to meet Eric because it will finally all make sense to her the way it does to me and did for my spiritual director when he met Eric. The peace and the joy that she feels as a religious sister, that peace and joy I did not feel, I completely feel with Eric. God did not call me to religious life because He knew my path to holiness would best be found in Eric. Eric draws me to holiness in ways i could not have imagined but God always knew. I highly encourage all catholic men and women to discern religious life but most importantly to abandon their vocation to God. God is so faithful. He just asks for our trust and obedience and His rewards are abundant. I am so excited for Sr. Catherine to meet Eric because she will see further proof of how beautiful it is to live out ones vocation. We have two different vocations but the same peace and joy that comes from doing the will of God.

40 Weeks

Due date has arrived! I can't believe I made it! Thinking back to all those sick days this seemed so far away but here we are. Mary could literally come any day now. She can come whenever she wants, in her own perfect timing. Mommy, Daddy, and a whole lot of other people can't wait to meet her. Here is a fun look back at how we have grown...

5 weeks, first trimester- apple seed

13 weeks, second trimester- apple

 

 27 weeks, third trimester- jicama

37 weeks, full term- watermelon

40 weeks, baby is fully cooked!

Mommy Boot Camp

At the beginning of my pregnancy a friend of mine told me that pregnancy is mommy boot camp. So many times have I thought about that statement and I find myself once again today reflecting deeper on how true that is. To be a good mommy the most important aspect one should strive to possess is uniformity with God's will. Our children and our life are not our own. Everything and everyone belong to God. As a mommy God is entrusting me with the incredible task of helping Him form His children into the Saints he intends them to be. For 9 months pregnancy has been trying to prepare me to give up my ways and abandon to His ways and just recently did I really figure this out. The reason pregnancy is mommy boot camp is because it comes with many unexpected turns and opportunities to get in line with God's will not my own. In life we often have ideas about how we think things are supposed to go. The problem with that last sentence is the word "we" which really should be replaced with the word "God." It should read: In life God often (always) has ideas about how God thinks things are supposed to go. Our job is to discover His ways and abandon ourselves to them. I went into pregnancy with so many ideas about how I wanted things to go. I developed an elaborate birth plan about how I think my labor and delivery should go. There was a lot of "I" thinking. But over and over again God has given me opportunities to grow in trust of Him by having things be different than I planned them to be. I have a choice now, I can either kick and scream and be upset with God or I can say thank you because I know He knows what is best. My life belongs to him and so does the life of my precious daughter. I am thankful that my pregnancy has been what it has been because it truly is boot camp as I am learning more and more to be uniform with God's will. That uniformity will be the key to being the holy mother I pray I can be for our daughter.

Full Term

Our little Mary will be considered full term on Saturday and while it will likely be a few more weeks, she could safely come any day. At the last appointment the doctor could tell that I am already making progress towards delivery and the reality of her birth being so close put my nesting into overdrive. With the help of a wonderful friend, Mary's clothes, sheets, and blankets have all been washed and baby items assembled. Physically we are pretty much ready for her but what about spiritually? We have so much "stuff" for her but these material things aren't what will fulfill her or make her the little child of God she is meant to be. Even more than physical nesting, it is time for some spiritual nesting. As God moves parenthood into the next stage for Eric and I, we need to prepare ourselves to be the parents God wants us to be.  Starting Saturday when Mary is full term I am going to take time each day to make a holy hour with our Lord. During this time I am only going to allow myself a few minutes for prayers of petition asking for a healthy and safe delivery (might even push things a little and ask for an easy delivery since He is a God who likes to spoil us :). I am going to spend the majority of the hour just listening. I know that life won't be silent much once Mary comes so I am going to use this time now to just sit and listen to Our Lord and His Mother teach me how to be a holy mother. Please keep Eric and I in your prayers. This adventure of parenthood has already proven so sanctifying and I am certain that the next stage of parenthood to a little one on the outside has even more potential to help us grow in virtue and faith if we are docile to the ways God will form us and allow Mary to push us to grow.

"Speak Lord, your servant is listening"

Wedding Video

Our wedding video has arrived. It is so fun to watch and relive the best day of my life. Click here for a link to the highlights reel if you would like to take a look :)

The ending is my favorite part so make sure you watch all the way through!

First Mothers Day

I started the day today staring at this little face, moved to tears over the joy and blessing of being her mommy. It feels like today, I want to celebrate her because it is through her that I have received the incredibly gift of motherhood and my new path to sanctity. My only desire and prayer this day is the transformation my heart to be more like the heart of the Blessed Mother so that I can be a good holy mother to my daughter. Through holding tight to the rosary and seeking every day to imitate the virtues of the Blessed Mother I may have a glimpse of Mother Mary's heart and ability to love my daughter as our heavenly mother loves all her children. I am thankful for all the women in my life who show me a mothers love, especially my mom and mother-in-law who are both incredible examples of true motherhood. A deep desire in my heart was filled the day I found out I am a mom and I pray that I may use this gift to draw closer to Our Lord! Jesus help me to love my daughter with the sacrificial love with which you love me.

On this special day I also remember heavy in my heart all of my dear loved ones who have lost their children to miscarriage and early delivery. You are forever a mother and I pray that your heart would be consoled on this day knowing that you created a perfect home for your special baby until they were entrusted again to our merciful father in heaven.