The heart of her husband trusts in her...

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain.

 

One of the readings that will be read and mine and Eric's wedding mass is the controversial Ephesians 5. You know, the one that says "wives be submissive to your husbands..." and gets all the feminists up in arms? We chose that reading for a few reasons, first because it is beautiful and so true and second because people who reject it usually don't understand it and we wanted to give Fr. Thomas an opportunity to preach on it so those present at the wedding can hear just how beautiful those words are when properly understood. How does this connect to my verse from Proverbs 31 today? Submitting to ones husband is often misunderstood to believe that it means the woman has no say in anything. Fr. Thomas recently told Eric and I that he is the king of the home but I am his great counselor. Eric being my leader does not mean that he does whatever he wants and I have to just comply. If I am the good wife that Proverbs 31 speaks about then Eric will be able to trust my counsel and when making decisions he will think of me and my desires. Husbands will undoubtedly need guidance and help too as they make big decisions for the family. If the husband knows that his wife has given herself completely to the will of God he will be able to trust her when she offers him support and counsel. If the husband has a God serving wife her counsel with leave him with "no lack of gain" because she will be striving to support him and help him lead the family on the path to heaven. This verse inspires me because it reminds me how great a benefit it is to my beloved for me to be a good wife. What a joy it will be for him to believe that he can trust with his whole heart the woman he has chosen to spend his life with.

"For her worth is far above jewels"

As I reflected on this second line in Proverbs 31 I kept thinking that what is said to have worth above jewels is a good wife, not a successful working woman or highly educated individual. Too often people look down upon women who are homemakers. Kimberly Han was once asked "what do you do to use your brain?" Are you kidding me? Being a wife and mother uses not only your brain but also your heart, soul, emotions, and body as well. Society tells woman today to go to college and get a great job and then IF you choose to have children hire someone else to care for them because you have more to offer this world. Some women are given amazing talents and gifts that would greatly benefit the world but is that worth more than jewels? I am a teacher and I love what I do but that isn't my vocation. I will gladly give that up so I can follow the path God has called me to. Being a teacher is great but being a good wife and homemaker has a worth far above jewels. You may ask me why I jumped from good wife to mother. I believe the two go hand in hand because one of the fruits of marriage is new life. The greatest gift I will ever give my future husband is children so being a good mother and  good wife are connected.

To any wives and mothers out their reading this, thank you for what you do! You are building a more successful and faithful society one diaper at a time.

Proverbs 31:10- one more thought

I had one more thought today about Proverbs 31:10...

I wonder how many married men upon hearing the question "who can find a good wife" would say not them? I wonder how many men thought they found a good wife only years later to realize that she has wearied in her commitment to her vocation? Ladies we need to stop often and look at ourselves and our marriage and ask if we are still as committed to being a great wife as we were on our honeymoon. Of course challenges make it more difficult but that doesn't mean we stop trying. God has called every married woman to a very specific vocation. I am not just called to marriage, my vocation has a name and his name is Eric. I pray that I never weary in my commitment to be a good wife to Eric and that every day from Oct 13 until death does part us he will be able to say that yes he has a good wife (or at least one who gives everything shes got to try to be a good wife).

"Who can find a good wife?" -Proverbs 31:10

Proverbs 31:10-31 is written by a Queen mother to her son advising him of the qualities he should be looking for in a wife. This section open with the question "who can find a good wife?" The first thing that comes to mind for me is, what does she mean by good? There are a lot of "good" people in this world and there are a lot of good women. Clearly though the queen is not going to be satisfied with her son marrying a run of the mill good woman. As we read on we will see that the queen's standards are pretty high. So how should we measure goodness? It seems to me that since God is the source of all all that is good, He should be the standard by which goodness is judged. So as I reflect on the first line of this part of scripture I realize that in order to be a good wife I must first be a good daughter, a good daughter to God who is my ultimate king. I think Kimberly Hahn puts it beautifully when she writes "a godly woman is good by God's standards: She possesses moral perfection, which is only possible in Christ." I believe with all my heart that if I keep God first in my life and live everyday trying to be "good" in His eyes that I will also grow in my ability to be a good wife. From my love for God will my love for my husband flow. Loving God and being in relationship with him will every day reveal to me greater ways that I can love my husband and be "good" in his eyes as well.

Proverbs 31

As I prepare to be a wife I have been reading and meditating on Scritpure verses that talk about marriage, women, and wives. Proverbs 31:10-31 is titled "description of a worthy wife." I have decided that I am going to spend the next 20 or so days meditating in depth upon what God is telling us through these verses. I will post about what I find and pray that God will lead me and any other woman who follows along to discover more deeply the beauty of a godly wife. Here is the full text for you to read today.

An excellent wife, who can find?

For her worth is far above jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life.

She looks for wool and flax

And works with her ^[h]hands ^[i]in delight.

She is like merchant ships;

She brings her food from afar.

She rises also while it is still night

And gives food to her household

And ^[j]portions to her maidens.

She considers a field and buys it;

From ^[k]her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She girds ^[l]herself with strength

And makes her arms strong.

She senses that her gain is good;

Her lamp does not go out at night.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff,

And her ^[m]hands grasp the spindle.

She ^[n] extends her hand to the poor,

And she stretches out her hands to the needy.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household,

For all her household are clothed with scarlet.

She makes coverings for herself;

Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,

And ^[o]supplies belts to the ^[p]tradesmen.

Strength and dignity are her clothing,

And she smiles at the ^[q]future.

She opens her mouth in wisdom,

And the ^[r]teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

She looks well to the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and bless her;

Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

“Many daughters have done nobly,

But you excel them all.”

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

But a woman who ^[s] fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Give her the ^[t]product of her hands,

And let her works praise her in the gates.

6 Monthiversary

On June 10th Eric and I celebrated 6 months since our first date. Due to his work schedule and our Parker boat trip we postponed our celebration until yesterday. Eric surprised me and took me on my dream date. Before I tell you the details I should let you know that he had much fun watching me try for days to figure out where we were going. Each day he gave me one clue: wear clothes good for walking around, it is in the LA area, bring my appetite for a great lunch, leave at 10:30 and return before traffic...I was stumped until the morning of the date when somehow I finally guessed right. Years ago I told my best friend that I thought the most romantic date would be to have lunch and walk around the Huntington Library and Gardens. I had been there once and saw cute couples sitting together on benches and just thought it looked so sweet. She apparently mentioned this to Eric several months ago and he stored the idea away for future use. I was so excited when I figured out where we were going and couldn't believe that he made yet another one of my dreams come true! We had lunch at the Rose Garden Tea House, walked around all the gardens, looked in the art gallery, and even stopped to snuggle on a bench. Here are a few pictures from the day...

Lunch at the tea house included delicious finger sandwiches, salads, cheese and crackers, fruit, mini desserts, and of course tea

"One lump or two?"

The rose gardens were beautiful and smelled amazing

The highlight of the day for Eric was seeing the Gutenberg Bible

Somethings not quite right here...

Perfect end to a perfect day

"All is grace" -St. Therese

Engagement Pictures

We had a blast on Thursday taking engagement pictures with the amazingly talented Marcie Jane. For those who don't know, Marcie is Eric's cousin and one of the most talented photographers I have ever seen. If you know someone getting married in Southern California or someplace tropical (I bet she would be happy to travel :), tell them to check out Marcie Jane Photography. We did our engagement shoot in Old Town San Diego. Marcie remarked that we are naturals...how can you not be when all you have to do is gaze at and smooch the person you love. The pictures won't be ready for a few weeks but I promise to post a few when we get them as I am sure they are going to look fabulous!

http://www.marciejanephoto.com/index2.php#/home/

"All is grace" -St. Therese