The heart of her husband trusts in her...

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain.

 

One of the readings that will be read and mine and Eric's wedding mass is the controversial Ephesians 5. You know, the one that says "wives be submissive to your husbands..." and gets all the feminists up in arms? We chose that reading for a few reasons, first because it is beautiful and so true and second because people who reject it usually don't understand it and we wanted to give Fr. Thomas an opportunity to preach on it so those present at the wedding can hear just how beautiful those words are when properly understood. How does this connect to my verse from Proverbs 31 today? Submitting to ones husband is often misunderstood to believe that it means the woman has no say in anything. Fr. Thomas recently told Eric and I that he is the king of the home but I am his great counselor. Eric being my leader does not mean that he does whatever he wants and I have to just comply. If I am the good wife that Proverbs 31 speaks about then Eric will be able to trust my counsel and when making decisions he will think of me and my desires. Husbands will undoubtedly need guidance and help too as they make big decisions for the family. If the husband knows that his wife has given herself completely to the will of God he will be able to trust her when she offers him support and counsel. If the husband has a God serving wife her counsel with leave him with "no lack of gain" because she will be striving to support him and help him lead the family on the path to heaven. This verse inspires me because it reminds me how great a benefit it is to my beloved for me to be a good wife. What a joy it will be for him to believe that he can trust with his whole heart the woman he has chosen to spend his life with.

"For her worth is far above jewels"

As I reflected on this second line in Proverbs 31 I kept thinking that what is said to have worth above jewels is a good wife, not a successful working woman or highly educated individual. Too often people look down upon women who are homemakers. Kimberly Han was once asked "what do you do to use your brain?" Are you kidding me? Being a wife and mother uses not only your brain but also your heart, soul, emotions, and body as well. Society tells woman today to go to college and get a great job and then IF you choose to have children hire someone else to care for them because you have more to offer this world. Some women are given amazing talents and gifts that would greatly benefit the world but is that worth more than jewels? I am a teacher and I love what I do but that isn't my vocation. I will gladly give that up so I can follow the path God has called me to. Being a teacher is great but being a good wife and homemaker has a worth far above jewels. You may ask me why I jumped from good wife to mother. I believe the two go hand in hand because one of the fruits of marriage is new life. The greatest gift I will ever give my future husband is children so being a good mother and  good wife are connected.

To any wives and mothers out their reading this, thank you for what you do! You are building a more successful and faithful society one diaper at a time.

Proverbs 31:10- one more thought

I had one more thought today about Proverbs 31:10...

I wonder how many married men upon hearing the question "who can find a good wife" would say not them? I wonder how many men thought they found a good wife only years later to realize that she has wearied in her commitment to her vocation? Ladies we need to stop often and look at ourselves and our marriage and ask if we are still as committed to being a great wife as we were on our honeymoon. Of course challenges make it more difficult but that doesn't mean we stop trying. God has called every married woman to a very specific vocation. I am not just called to marriage, my vocation has a name and his name is Eric. I pray that I never weary in my commitment to be a good wife to Eric and that every day from Oct 13 until death does part us he will be able to say that yes he has a good wife (or at least one who gives everything shes got to try to be a good wife).

"Who can find a good wife?" -Proverbs 31:10

Proverbs 31:10-31 is written by a Queen mother to her son advising him of the qualities he should be looking for in a wife. This section open with the question "who can find a good wife?" The first thing that comes to mind for me is, what does she mean by good? There are a lot of "good" people in this world and there are a lot of good women. Clearly though the queen is not going to be satisfied with her son marrying a run of the mill good woman. As we read on we will see that the queen's standards are pretty high. So how should we measure goodness? It seems to me that since God is the source of all all that is good, He should be the standard by which goodness is judged. So as I reflect on the first line of this part of scripture I realize that in order to be a good wife I must first be a good daughter, a good daughter to God who is my ultimate king. I think Kimberly Hahn puts it beautifully when she writes "a godly woman is good by God's standards: She possesses moral perfection, which is only possible in Christ." I believe with all my heart that if I keep God first in my life and live everyday trying to be "good" in His eyes that I will also grow in my ability to be a good wife. From my love for God will my love for my husband flow. Loving God and being in relationship with him will every day reveal to me greater ways that I can love my husband and be "good" in his eyes as well.

Proverbs 31

As I prepare to be a wife I have been reading and meditating on Scritpure verses that talk about marriage, women, and wives. Proverbs 31:10-31 is titled "description of a worthy wife." I have decided that I am going to spend the next 20 or so days meditating in depth upon what God is telling us through these verses. I will post about what I find and pray that God will lead me and any other woman who follows along to discover more deeply the beauty of a godly wife. Here is the full text for you to read today.

An excellent wife, who can find?

For her worth is far above jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life.

She looks for wool and flax

And works with her ^[h]hands ^[i]in delight.

She is like merchant ships;

She brings her food from afar.

She rises also while it is still night

And gives food to her household

And ^[j]portions to her maidens.

She considers a field and buys it;

From ^[k]her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She girds ^[l]herself with strength

And makes her arms strong.

She senses that her gain is good;

Her lamp does not go out at night.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff,

And her ^[m]hands grasp the spindle.

She ^[n] extends her hand to the poor,

And she stretches out her hands to the needy.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household,

For all her household are clothed with scarlet.

She makes coverings for herself;

Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,

And ^[o]supplies belts to the ^[p]tradesmen.

Strength and dignity are her clothing,

And she smiles at the ^[q]future.

She opens her mouth in wisdom,

And the ^[r]teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

She looks well to the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and bless her;

Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

“Many daughters have done nobly,

But you excel them all.”

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

But a woman who ^[s] fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Give her the ^[t]product of her hands,

And let her works praise her in the gates.

6 Monthiversary

On June 10th Eric and I celebrated 6 months since our first date. Due to his work schedule and our Parker boat trip we postponed our celebration until yesterday. Eric surprised me and took me on my dream date. Before I tell you the details I should let you know that he had much fun watching me try for days to figure out where we were going. Each day he gave me one clue: wear clothes good for walking around, it is in the LA area, bring my appetite for a great lunch, leave at 10:30 and return before traffic...I was stumped until the morning of the date when somehow I finally guessed right. Years ago I told my best friend that I thought the most romantic date would be to have lunch and walk around the Huntington Library and Gardens. I had been there once and saw cute couples sitting together on benches and just thought it looked so sweet. She apparently mentioned this to Eric several months ago and he stored the idea away for future use. I was so excited when I figured out where we were going and couldn't believe that he made yet another one of my dreams come true! We had lunch at the Rose Garden Tea House, walked around all the gardens, looked in the art gallery, and even stopped to snuggle on a bench. Here are a few pictures from the day...

Lunch at the tea house included delicious finger sandwiches, salads, cheese and crackers, fruit, mini desserts, and of course tea

"One lump or two?"

The rose gardens were beautiful and smelled amazing

The highlight of the day for Eric was seeing the Gutenberg Bible

Somethings not quite right here...

Perfect end to a perfect day

"All is grace" -St. Therese

Engagement Pictures

We had a blast on Thursday taking engagement pictures with the amazingly talented Marcie Jane. For those who don't know, Marcie is Eric's cousin and one of the most talented photographers I have ever seen. If you know someone getting married in Southern California or someplace tropical (I bet she would be happy to travel :), tell them to check out Marcie Jane Photography. We did our engagement shoot in Old Town San Diego. Marcie remarked that we are naturals...how can you not be when all you have to do is gaze at and smooch the person you love. The pictures won't be ready for a few weeks but I promise to post a few when we get them as I am sure they are going to look fabulous!

http://www.marciejanephoto.com/index2.php#/home/

"All is grace" -St. Therese

First Boat Trip

Earlier this week Eric took me on our first boat trip to Parker Arizona. Brett and Matt (a firefighter friend from Las Vegas) went with us too. We had a wonderful time and I can definitely see these being our vacations for years and years to come!

Some highlights of this trip included:
The ski chair (a resurrected childhood classic boat toy of Eric and Brett)
Me getting up on both the ski chair and the knee board (next trip I will take on the wake board)
A late night taco bell run
And of course, the casino buffet

Here are a few pictures from our trip:

Excited for my first boat trip

 

All suited up to ride the tube

Not my favorite, Eric might now be deaf on his right ear

Ready to try the ski chair

Up on my first try!

Eric on the ski chair- brings back childhood memories for him :)

Next challenge: The knee board

Eric on the wake board

Brett and Matt had a lot of fun thinking of goofy things to do

Crazy boys

Beautiful

I am counting down the days until the next trip!

"All is grace" -St. Therese

Wedding Coordinators...check

We met with the Church wedding coordinators yesterday and we are all set with them. We are one step closer to our big day and still amazed at how smoothly everything keeps coming together.  Next weekend we begin meetings with lighting companies, florists, and of course cake tasting (our favorite part)! Hopefully everyone got our save the date cards and has marked their calendars! I am hoping and praying that a lot of out of town family will be able to join us.

"All is grace" -St. Therese

"...let no man separate"

Someone recently asked me if Eric and I had gotten into any big fights yet over wedding plans. You know the classic I want steak and he wants chicken type fights? I replied that no we had not and everyone in the room was shocked! I mentioned that I made a decision to be an easy going bride and that I do not think any big disagreements will come. It seemed to me that most people didn't really believe me and remarked that as we get close to the wedding we will indeed find ourselves in conflict.

When I saw Eric later the day of this exchange I told him the story and asked his thoughts. He agreed with me that he can't imagine what we would fight about and mentioned that we have already made all the big decisions without fighting so are doing good so far. Wanting to not be prideful and assume we are stronger than the temptations others have apparently faced I began to pray about this and meditate on why couples experience conflict while planning their wedding as well as identify ways Eric and I can avoid those potential issues. What God brought to my mind I thought worth sharing.

We know from Scripture that when a man and woman marry, "the two become one flesh" (Mark 10:8).  On October 13th forever more Eric and Robyn will not exist as separate individuals, instead we will be Eric and Robyn together. The devil is not a big fan of this idea, in fact he hates it and he will do anything he can to try to destroy it. It comes as no shock to me then that as couples prepare for marriage, the devil is in their trying to cause separation between them even before the one flesh union has occurred. He knows that the graces given in the sacrament are strong and so he better get to work early.  With this thought in mind I feel all the more committed to not letting plans for one day bring even the smallest amount of tension or separation between us.

My next question to God was how to fight these temptations from the evil one. I believe that if Eric and I keep our focus on the sacrament that we will participate in and the union that God will create and allow the rest to just be details we will be on a good path. I am blessed to have an amazing wedding coordinator and a mom who is a party planning expert so I am able to leave some of the little details to them and focus my energy on spiritually preparing for the rest of our lives. It could be easy to get caught up in what napkins are best or what flowers I "can't live without" but I know those things are temporary and our union will be forever. Eric and I are both listening to talks and reading books about marriage (thank you Chris for the famous "red bag") in order to keep our minds focused on what really matters.  The more we can focus our minds on the spiritual realities the less we will be caught up in other details.  Whenever we are tempted to get caught up in details of the wedding day, I pray we are able to remember what truly matters and know that the most important aspect of October 13th is the Mass in which Jesus will join us together for the rest of our lives and even one step better, He will give himself to us in the Eucharist as our strength and nourishment to be faithful to our vocation. Prayer is also essential to us staying united as we approach our wedding day.  Eric and I pray the rosary every time we are together because we firmly believe that Mary is our greatest intercessor and the one who will best draw us closer to Jesus who will unite us.

Knowing that we are weak we ask for your continued prayers. We desire to glorify God in our marriage, even in the planning of our wedding and we know we will only be able to do so by his grace aided by the prayers of those who love us.

"All is grace" -St. Therese

Save-The-Date

Save-the-date cards are now in the mail! 131 days until I marry the love of my life!

On another note:

Lest you think due to my last two posts that Eric never enjoys decadent food please see the picture below and appreciate that when this man indulges, HE INDULGES! And he deserves it! Dessert last night was ice cream (butter pecan and mint chip), brownie, and an ice cream candy bar, all on one bowl! 

"All is grace" -St. Therese

Saints vs saints

My future sister-in-law suggested that I write a blog explaining the difference between Saints (big S) and saints (little s) since our blog is called "cradle for saints". Saints (big S) comes from the Latin word "sanctus" which means holy. Saints are individuals who lived a life in loving response to God and so merited the rewards of eternal life with Him. Anyone who is in heaven is a Saint. Certain people are officially canonized Saints by the Catholic Church. This is done not for their benefit for they are already receiving all of their rewards eternally in heaven. The Church gives those of us still here on earth the gift of canonized Saints as an example to be followed. Knowing that they are in heaven we can follow their example and trust that through imitation of their lives, we too will one day be with God in heaven. One might ask: "aren't we supposed to imitate Christ in order to get to heaven?" Yes of course we are and that is precisely what the Saints did! What I love so much about the Saints is that they were people like you and me who went above and beyond being simply good people. They show us that loving God to the fullest is not only possibly but eternally rewarding.

saints (little s) refers to those who are living in the state of God's grace while still here on earth. We can say that a newly baptized baby is a saint because they are holy as the definition of the word indicates.

Eric and I got the name of our blog from a document entitles "The Large Family" by Pope Pius XII. Pope Pius XII wrote, "With good reason, it has often been pointed out that large families have been in the forefront as the cradles of saints." When one studies the lives of the Saints one will often find that they came from large, devoted, Christian families. Meditating on this Eric and I began to see that creating a cradle for saints and God willing Saints is exactly what we desire for our marriage. Reading these words from the Holy Father also solidified in our hearts a deep desire to be very generous with God regarding the size of our family. Ultimately the size of our family is in the hands of our Lord and we abandon ourselves, our family, and the future sanctity of our children into his loving hands.

If you are interested in learning more about the Saints (big S) their is a great book called "Saints for Dummies" by Father John Trigilio and Father Kenneth Brighenti that I highly recommend. I actually use that book as the text for the Lives of the Saints course that I currently teach.

Also here is a link to the full text of the document The Large Family by Pope Pius XII:
 http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?recnum=5370

"All is grace" -St. Therese

Creative Cooking Update

The Shepherds Pie with a twist was a winner! Eric and I both loved it! Eric's brother Brett was also home last night (he currently lives with Eric) and joined us for dinner and he too said it was a keeper! It has been added to my recipe box and will be a regular in the Mattson home. It turns out one can make a meal of only lean meats and vegetables and have it taste delicious! If any of you are ever coming to our house for dinner once we are married get ready because we just might have to make it for you!