Someone recently asked me if Eric and I had gotten into any big fights yet over wedding plans. You know the classic I want steak and he wants chicken type fights? I replied that no we had not and everyone in the room was shocked! I mentioned that I made a decision to be an easy going bride and that I do not think any big disagreements will come. It seemed to me that most people didn't really believe me and remarked that as we get close to the wedding we will indeed find ourselves in conflict.
When I saw Eric later the day of this exchange I told him the story and asked his thoughts. He agreed with me that he can't imagine what we would fight about and mentioned that we have already made all the big decisions without fighting so are doing good so far. Wanting to not be prideful and assume we are stronger than the temptations others have apparently faced I began to pray about this and meditate on why couples experience conflict while planning their wedding as well as identify ways Eric and I can avoid those potential issues. What God brought to my mind I thought worth sharing.
We know from Scripture that when a man and woman marry, "the two become one flesh" (Mark 10:8). On October 13th forever more Eric and Robyn will not exist as separate individuals, instead we will be Eric and Robyn together. The devil is not a big fan of this idea, in fact he hates it and he will do anything he can to try to destroy it. It comes as no shock to me then that as couples prepare for marriage, the devil is in their trying to cause separation between them even before the one flesh union has occurred. He knows that the graces given in the sacrament are strong and so he better get to work early. With this thought in mind I feel all the more committed to not letting plans for one day bring even the smallest amount of tension or separation between us.
My next question to God was how to fight these temptations from the evil one. I believe that if Eric and I keep our focus on the sacrament that we will participate in and the union that God will create and allow the rest to just be details we will be on a good path. I am blessed to have an amazing wedding coordinator and a mom who is a party planning expert so I am able to leave some of the little details to them and focus my energy on spiritually preparing for the rest of our lives. It could be easy to get caught up in what napkins are best or what flowers I "can't live without" but I know those things are temporary and our union will be forever. Eric and I are both listening to talks and reading books about marriage (thank you Chris for the famous "red bag") in order to keep our minds focused on what really matters. The more we can focus our minds on the spiritual realities the less we will be caught up in other details. Whenever we are tempted to get caught up in details of the wedding day, I pray we are able to remember what truly matters and know that the most important aspect of October 13th is the Mass in which Jesus will join us together for the rest of our lives and even one step better, He will give himself to us in the Eucharist as our strength and nourishment to be faithful to our vocation. Prayer is also essential to us staying united as we approach our wedding day. Eric and I pray the rosary every time we are together because we firmly believe that Mary is our greatest intercessor and the one who will best draw us closer to Jesus who will unite us.
Knowing that we are weak we ask for your continued prayers. We desire to glorify God in our marriage, even in the planning of our wedding and we know we will only be able to do so by his grace aided by the prayers of those who love us.
"All is grace" -St. Therese
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