1 Year

Wow what a difference a year can make! 1 year ago today I went on a date with a man I had never met. We were set up by his sister who I met at a Catholic Bible Study. She tried for about 8 months to get me to go out with her brother but due to being very busy it took a while to make it happen. I went on the date thinking "it's no big deal" and having no expectations. Little did I know that night I would be impressed by this man's kindness and gentlemanly ways (and of course how handsome he is). 1 year later we are now married and expecting our first child. This last year has been the most amazing year of my life. I always trusted God had great blessings in mind for me but my imagination was not big enough to think of this. God's timing is so perfect and if we just trust in Him all will work out as it is supposed to. If you ever feel lost, think how much your life could change in just 1 year! Let God surprise you and you will not regret it!

Thank you Eric for loving me and giving me the best year of my life. I can't wait to spend at least 50 more years with you!!

Our First Date

God's Ways not the Culture's

As more and more people learn of mine and Eric's little miracle inside my tummy one thing has taken me by surprise; there have been people who have questioned if I was pregnant before we got married. A few have even told me that they took out a calendar and added up the weeks to be sure it was correct. There are also some who don't realize that pregnancy weeks are calculated from the woman's last menstrual cycle. Eric and I are 9 weeks today. We got married 7 weeks ago and conceived on our wedding night (we know because we were charting my fertility). Because they calculate from the first date of my last period (October 1st) I am placed at 9 weeks pregnant. Sorry if that was a little TMI! Due to people not knowing this information some have counted the weeks since I was married and assumed that means I was pregnant two weeks before the wedding. Initially I was very hurt. I have spent the last four years of my life teaching Christian morality and the year prior to that teaching abstinence education in public schools in Ohio. Chastity and sexual purity has always been something very important to me and the fact that people doubted me was hurtful. Once I got past my pride and realized that this is a very common stumbling block even for some of the most faithful people I know, I was able to step back and look at the bigger picture of what is going on. We live in a contraceptive culture that can be very selfish. Eric and my situation is a slap in the face to our culture. Often times couples will date for several years, be engaged for at least 1 year and then wait a while before having kids. Now I am not judging the decisions other people make. I have several friends who would love to have children and have not been able to, so we should never assume that someone without kids is acting selfishly, but the reality is that in many cases couples use contraception to avoid pregnancy for the first year or so of their marriage. Eric and I on the other hand met, got engaged, were married, and pregnant in just over 10 months. When we met we both understood the purpose of dating and marriage and as soon as we heard the call of the Lord we followed without delay. During our engagement we decided to learn the Creighton model of NFP in case we experience any infertility. By the way for anyone reading this struggling to get pregnant, it is the most effective way to treat infertility and it is natural and affordable. As we were charting my fertility we realized that there was a good chance that my cycle would line up perfectly for us to potentially conceive on our wedding night or soon after. We talked about this and both expressed how amazing it would be to conceive right away. We both want a large family and we see that children are one of the primary purposes of marriage. Neither of us desired at all to wait to start having kids. I always remember my mom telling me that when she got pregnant she loved my dad a little more because they had made something that was 50% of each of them. So beautiful! I now understand completely. Not only did Eric and I like the idea of getting pregnant right away, we prayed for it. I wrote about this in my last blog so why am I talking about it again? It occurred to me as people were questioning when we conceived that we are totally opposite of our culture. Our desires and situation are not the norm and so I think many people can't even imagine our situation being real. It's hard to believe that two people really did conceive right away because that doesn't happen very often. I bet 100 years ago no one would have even batted an eye at our situation. It was expected that couples were chaste and without the use of contraception people got pregnant quickly and even saw it as a blessing. I am happy to be counter cultural. We are elated to already be a family. When we follow God's call in our lives we should expect some persecution and questioning. Eric and I believe that God is asking us to be an example of Catholic family life the way He designed it. What the future has in store we know not but for now I accept that people will often question us as we strive to follow God's ways and not the ways of the culture.

More proundly pro-life

I have always been pro-life. Since a very young age I have loved babies and have always believed that abortion was the innocent taking of the life of a sweet baby. As pro-life as I previously was, it was admittedly not something I got overly involved in. I would talk about the evils of abortion and how I refuse to vote for a candidate that supports such an act but it wasn't until becoming pregnant that the discussion about abortion became very emotional for me.  Each week I get an e-mail that tells me what the baby is doing and how he or she is growing. I honestly had no idea how quickly these little miracles grow and develop. I am 8 weeks pregnant right now and my little one has a beating heart, fully working kidney's, and is even moving her or her arms and legs. He or she is the size of a raspberry and still has the ability to move. His or her face is now taking shape and will soon look like mommy and daddy. Sitting in bed contemplating this with my husband it suddenly hit me that the majority of abortions take place right at this time. Many women discover an unplanned pregnancy during this time and make the agonizing and hopeless decision to end the life of their child. This realization brought on several different emotions. I felt angry that we live in a world were it is acceptable to end the life of another innocent person. I felt angry that I can right now walk into a clinic right now and pay to have the life inside of me ended and legally no one could stop me and the government will do nothing to protect my child. I felt sad because all those little lives were so busy growing in what should have been the safest place possible and yet proved to be the most tragic place for them. I felt overwhelmed by the sad reality that many woman who have abortions don't know what they are doing. They have been lied to and told that they just have a clump of cells in them or that it is okay because the "fetus" (blah I hate when people use that word) isn't viable anyways. What they aren't told is that the baby has a beating heart, that the baby is moving inside even though they can't feel it, and that he or she has their whole life ahead of them as a beautiful new creation with an infinite soul created by God. If abortion clinics really wanted to give woman a choice, they would tell them these truths before allowing them to have an abortion. Women deserve all the facts before making such a huge life changing decision.

But here is the bottom line for me and why I am more passionately pro-life than I have ever been. The only difference between the baby in my belly and the vast majority of babies who are a victim of abortion is being wanted. My husband and I prayed and hoping to become pregnant on our wedding night (God is so faithful) and our baby is wanted with every fiber of our being. The baby in a teenage mother or young business woman or rape victims body is at the same stage in development and is as much a human life as the baby in my tummy but unfortunately the baby in these other women's womb is unwanted. That is the only difference. So in order to be pro-choice a person has two options: you can either claim that the baby in my tummy right now is NOT a human life. That even though he or she has a beating heart and rapid development, you know it is not a human. The only other way one can support a pro-choice stance is to agree that yes what is in my belly is a baby but that you don't care or don't think my baby is valuable. There are no other options in this argument. You have to either tell me that I am not pregnant with a human life or that the baby in my belly is unimportant. If you can look me, a pregnant lady, in the eyes and tell me one of those is true then I will let you go about your way believing the lies society has told you. But if you can not look at me and tell me that I am not pregnant with a new life or that that new life is not important then I beg you to reconsider why you think abortion is acceptable.  Remember the only difference between what is in my womb and in the womb of a vast majority of abortion minded woman is being wanted.  Are you truly comfortable allowing women to stop a beating heart because they don't want that heart? Does being unwanted change the value of someones life?  Does being unwanted mean that don't deserve a chance at life? Or could it be that we just aren't doing a good enough job helping abortion minded women find other options and recognize that the baby in their womb is wanted, that God wants them and so do countless other families who are seeking adoption?

Here is a link to where my baby currently is at in development. Please look it over and ask yourself if you are really comfortable with allowing women to end this little life?

http://pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy/first-trimester/articles/your-pregnancy-week-8.aspx

Our little blessing

Eric and I couldn't be more excited that God gave us the most amazing wedding present possible, a new little life. Thanks to Creighton NFP and charting of my fertility cycle we know that we conceived on our wedding night. You might be saying to yourself "that is a little TMI Robyn!" I am telling you when we conceived only because I believe it is a beautiful witness to the will of God. Eric and I prayed that we would conceive on our wedding night. We desire to start a family right away and pray to be blessed with many children and a wedding night baby would be as quick as we could get started. More than that though we recognize the two-fold purpose of marriage which is for children and the good of the couple (CCC 1660). Praying about our marriage we knew it would be an incredible gift and witness to have both purposes fulfilled on our wedding day. In a culture riddled with a contraceptive mentality where marriages can become selfish and children a burden, Eric and I desired to have our marriage be a witness of self giving and focus on the reason God elevated marriage to a sacrament. Before we got married I told a friend of mine "I am very presumptuous with God and am just expecting to be pregnant right away, that's how extravagant His love is." I guess I was right but please know though that Eric and I do not take this gift for granted. We have several family members and friends who struggle with becoming pregnant and we do not for a second take for granted how easily this happened for us. We are eternally grateful and constantly praying for our loved ones who are still seeking to conceive and have healthy pregnancies. We know God has a plan for every marriage and in His time that plan is unfolded.

The reactions to our pregnancy have varied. We have heard a lot of "already?" which is to be expected. We have had people say "well so much for getting to know each other!" which to me is just a misunderstanding of what marriage is all about. We have had a lot of joy which always warms my heart. Sadly I have even had some people who seem to feel sorry for us giving a reaction that pretends to be happy but you can tell in their voice they are shocked and think this is all too soon and perhaps we should have waited. One thing I know for sure is that our sweet baby has drawn us close in new ways. The first night we went to bed after finding out I am pregnant I looked over at Eric and I will always remember that I felt like I fell in love with him all over again. This man who I love and admire is now and forever will be the father of our children. He has given me the great gift of motherhood and I am blessed to have been able to make him a father. I believe that he will be an incredible dad and I can't wait to watch him grow and perfect his masculinity through fatherhood. Just two days after our positive pregnancy test I began to get sick and the nausea has not let up since. Eric has proven to be a very caring and patient husband. While some newlyweds are spending their weekends out enjoying the world together my husband lay in bed with me and his baby snuggling us as I struggle to keep the sickness at bay. Any selfishness we had going into marriage was immediately forced away as we must now focus on the future that lays ahead.

We ask for continued prayers for our little one as we are in the very fragile early stages. We had our first doctor visit yesterday and baby Mattson has a good heart rate and everything looks to be going perfectly. Mommy is very nauseous all the time which is supposed to be a good sign. They say a sick mommy = a healthy baby. I sure hope they are right.

Baby's first picture!

Saints

Happy Feast of All Saints! Those who know me know that I love the Saints! I love learning about their lives and praying novenas asking for their intercession. In case you are unfamiliar with why Catholic's ask Saints to pray for them here is a little explanation for you:

Like all Christians, Catholics believe in life after death. Those who have lived good lives and died in the faith of Christ will, as the Bible tells us, share in his resurrection.
While we live together on earth as Christians, we are in communion, or unity, with one another. But that communion doesn’t end when one of us dies. We believe that Christians in heaven, the saints, remain in communion with those of us on earth.
So, just as we might ask a friend or family member to pray for us, we can approach a saint with our prayers too. (text taken from http://catholicism.about.com/od/thesaints/f/Pray_to_Saints.htm)


For a more detailed explanation see this website:
http://www.catholic.com/tracts/praying-to-the-saints

On a more personal note I love the Saints because I feel like I have an entire group of best friends in heaven looking over me and those I love. I have formed friendships with many Saints, most especially Saint Therese and believe me she is alive and active in heaven. She has clearly worked in my life in amazing ways. I know that she is up in heaven spending her eternity doing good on earth. My only real desire in life is one day for me and my family to be Saints ourselves. If I wanted to be a doctor I would learn from other doctors right? If I want to be a Saint I need to learn from those who are already Saints. They give us all an example to follow. They also give us hope that we too can be in heaven one day with our Lord. I highly encourage all Christians, Catholic and Protestant alike to get to know the Saints. These are the hero's of the Christian faith and they loved Jesus with a zeal we dream of. And if you decide to become friend with the Little Flower (Saint Therese) don't be surprised by her sense of humor and beautiful ways of directing your life.

Mary Queen of all Saint, pray for us
All you holy Saints and Angels of God, pray for us

Honeymoon

After the wedding Eric and I were blessed to both get the time off of work to go on a honeymoon. We went to the North Shore of Oahu and had an amazing time. We did some snorkeling, hiking, relaxing, eating, and site seeing but the best thing we did was just be together. It was glorious to spend an entire week together, just the two of us. Some of my favorite moments with my new husband on our honeymoon were just laying around talking and laughing. I realized with every moment why I am so excited to spend my entire life with him.

We are now back and I am all moved into Eric's house. As amazing as our honeymoon was, it is equally as exciting to set up our house together. We little by little have put all of the wedding presents away and by some miracle everything fit in the kitchen. Eric's house has now become a home! When people are leaving vacation they often say "back to reality"...the reality I am now living is so wonderful I don't mind for one second not still being on that beach in Hawaii.

Enjoying one of our favorite Hawaiian treats: Shave Ice

2 are now 1

On October 13th Eric and I received the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony! WE ARE MARRIED! IT was the most wonderful day of our lives. The joy I felt all day was overwhelming and so amazing. My parents gave us the most glorious wedding possible. We had about 250 people in attendance and the Church and reception were beautiful and elegant. We were surrounded by amazing family and friends who made us both feel so loved and special on that amazing day!

I will admit that I started crying as soon as I stepped into the doorway to walk down the aisle and saw my beloved standing there waiting for me. A million thoughts ran though my head as I walked down a very long aisle (long enough to be a blubbering mess when I got there). Saying our vows resulted in more tears. I knew the words we would say but as I said them I made sure to really take in what I was saying. The one that struck my heart the most was when I said "I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." Honor...what a beautiful reality that for the rest of my life I will honor this wonderful man and he will honor me.

Another very special moment for me that day was when I danced with my dad! We had a waltz choreographed for us and had been practicing for over a month. When the time came for us to perform our dance for everyone I honestly forgot the crowds were there and just enjoyed a dance with my daddy! Those who know me know how much I am a daddy's girl so that dance was incredibly special for me.

Father Thomas opened the reception meal with a beautiful reflection in which he spoke about my vocational discernment and his joy in seeing my vocation realized in God's perfect timing. 

Eric's best man Brett (also his brother) gave an amazing toast filled with humor and sentiment. He definitely hit that one out of the park! My Matron of Honor Jacque gave a tear jerker speech (as I expected). She recalled the amazing ways in which Eric courted me and ended with the best compliment possible saying that I remind her of the Blessed Mother :)

The big surprise of the evening was an incredible act performed by my husband. Eric asked me a few weeks before the wedding if at the reception he could wash my feet to show that as the leader of our marriage and family, he would be a servant leader who would strive to humbly serve me and our family. It was a beautiful moment between the two of us and one that so many of the guests were moved by. Attached below is an article further explaining the washing of the brides feet by the groom.

We have been hearing from so many people how great of a time they had at our wedding! The one comment we hear most is that it was a holy and spiritual event. That was the most important thing for us so we are so happy to hear that people noticed that God was the center of the entire day. The wedding day was pure bliss and the best day of my life but nothing compares to now living out our vocation, daily loving each other and striving to help lead each other to heaven. We have been blessed to be called to such an incredible sacrament. Every day I feel closer to our Lord as I see him in the face of my spouse!

Article on feet washing:
http://unshakeablehope.blogspot.com/2012/05/glimpsing-gods-love-through-pair-of.html

Mr and Mrs Mattson

Nervous

I have had several people ask me if I am getting nervous as the wedding approaches. That question keeps striking me as odd so I took some time to think about why. Nervous is far from what I am feeling. Marrying Eric and giving my whole life to love him is the most natural thing I have ever desired to do. Loving Eric is natural and peaceful. In my life and quest to hear God's voice and call I have found that when I am living in God's will I am completely at peace. Even when doing His will is hard, peace is always present. I am not at all nervous about marrying Eric because I have so much peace and I know with every ounce of my being that this is what God is calling Eric and I too. Some people might be nervous about marriage because it is a big commitment. Marriage is a sacrament which means it come with an abundance of grace which will give Eric and I the strength to live out this life long commitment with fidelity and love. So am I nervous? Not at all. Am I excited! ABSOLUTELY!

Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

This past weekend Eric and I were thrown wonderful bachelor and bachelorette parties. Eric's brother, cousin, and a few friends spent four days in Parker Arizona on the river wake boarding, skiing, ski chairing, knee boarding, and snowboarding...on the water. Ty made them amazing shirts that he insisted they wear at all times (picture below). Jacque (my matron of honor) planned a perfect night for me. The evening started when Chantal drove up in her SUV with "Going to the Chapel" blasting and things like "honk if you love being married" written on the windows. They put a little veil on my head and whisked me away to the first stop which was a private Mass with Fr. Thomas who will be celebrating our wedding Mass. Father gave an incredible homily about guardian angels and how mine and Eric's have been working together to bring us to our vocation. He pointed out that they are now very good friends! We then went to a cooking school where we learned how to make a delicious meal which we enjoyed together while I opened a few presents and enjoyed great girl talk. It was a perfect evening for me and Eric had a perfect weekend for himself. As I reflect back on our parties I feel blessed by the people who surround us as we enter into the sacrament of marriage. Instead of a drunken mess of inappropriate behavior we were both in environments that support the kind of people God has called us to be. Instead of seeing these events as our last chance at freedom they were seen as opportunities to celebrate our upcoming marriage with some of our dearest friends. God is good! 10 days to go!

Holy Wedding

When Eric and I first started planning our wedding people often asked what was the theme we were going for (garden, beach, fancy, elegant, etc.) and the one word we both kept coming up with was holy. We want our wedding to at every moment reflect God. We want people to leave realizing they just witnessed a great sacrament. From the sacredness of the mass to every element of the reception we constantly asked ourselves what would most glorify God. We thought we might share a few elements that specifically reflect that so you can notice them at the wedding.

1. The Mass
We are having a full Catholic Mass because the Eucharist is the source and summit of our faith and Jesus himself. We firmly believe that our marriage will get all of its strength from the Eucharist and so we will begin our new life together with a celebration of that powerful sacrament. The music at the Mass was carefully selected to signal that this is a sacred event. The readings were selected because they represent three key aspects of marriage: that it has existed since creation, that male leadership is designed by God and is key to a good marriage, and that Mary must be present in marriage because as our mother she will be interceding for us and taking care of all our needs.

2. Attire
My dress and the dresses of the bridesmaids all reflect the dignity of woman desiring to reflect the holiness of a woman of God. We also asked our guests to observe the Church's dress code in order to maintain the sacredness of the space. <more on this in a later blog>

3. Music at the Reception
You will notice that all of the music is clean! We will not be playing any songs that use profanity, degrade women and the sexual act, or are all around dirty. We will also not be playing any music that would make someone want to dance inappropriately. The reception is a celebration of a holy sacrament and we do not want a single element of the festivities to be an offense again God. Don't worry, our music is amazing! There are plenty of songs out there that are great for dancing and still clean. We have a new found love of the 80s!

4. Alcohol
The only alcohol you will find at our reception will be wine. We opted away from an open bar because we did not want to encourage drunkenness at our wedding. Of course an open bar doesn't automatically equal drunkenness but we decided to just remove the temptation. We are opting to serve wine because it was served at a wedding where Jesus performed his first miracle and it has been a long Catholic tradition to serve wine at a wedding and other celebrations.

5. Our Lady of Fatima
We are getting married on the feast day of the final miracle at Fatima. Because of this you will find special ways that we are highlighting our Mother Mary on her special day!

6. Bouquet and Garter Toss
Instead of throwing my bouquet we will be doing an anniversary dance in which little by little married couples are eliminated from the dance floor based on years married until one couple remains who has been married the longest. That couple will receive the bouquet. We are doing this to honor life long married love! Eric will not be tossing my garter because I did not feel comfortable having him take something from under my dress and throw it into a crowd of single men.

Disclaimer:
Please do not take this blog as judgment. These are ways that Eric and I have opted to focus our wedding on the holiness of the sacrament. Please do not assume that if your wedding reception was different that we would say it was unholy.

Please continue to pray for us as we prepare for this amazing sacrament in which we desire to be a reflection of the love of God for the world!

Dress to Impress...but who?

One thing I noticed about my mom when I was growing up was that every time she would buy new clothes she would bring them home and try them on for my dad. If he liked them they stayed, if not they got returned. I finally asked her one day why she does that? Her answer has stuck with me to this day; she said "he is the only one who I care to look attractive for." I thought then and believe even more now that her answer was beautiful and profound.

I recently read a book called "His Needs, Her Needs" about the five basic needs of men in a marriage and the five basic needs of women in a marriage. One of the the needs for men was to have a spouse they find attractive. This makes sense to me because men are very visual. In fact I have heard that it is their strongest sense. Men want to be physically attracted to their wife. Does the level of attraction he has for her affect his love for her? It shouldn't but that doesn't mean women should stop caring about being attractive for their spouse and take for granted that they will still love them. I love dressing nice for Eric and I know he likes it too. There are certain ways I wear my hair that every time I do he remarks "you look pretty today." On special occasions and date nights I make sure to pick one of those hair styles. He doesn't know I do this but it is just a tiny little way that I show my love for him and meet his need/desire of physical attractiveness.

I once met a lady who said she would run around with the kids all day in her comfy sweats and workout clothes and then 30 minutes before her husband came home from work she would shower and put on a dress. I thought that was so sweet and showed how much she cared to look nice for him. When people have company over they usually try to look nice so why not do the same for the most important person in your life. I bet her husband would have loved her just as much in her sweats but I bet he felt extra loved knowing she cared that much to dress up a little to welcome him home.

Taking this one step further I think this can apply even at bed time. No I am not about to tell women that you should wear slinky nighties to bed every night but I once heard a male friend say "flannel pajamas are artificial contraception and should be banned by the church." As silly as that is, it got me thinking. At night the only person who sees you is your spouse so why not take that opportunity to show how much you care to look nice for him by wearing attractive pajamas. I have had more fun these last few months buying all new cute pajamas for when Eric and I get married.

Please don't take this blog the wrong way and think I am supporting vanity or saying that a woman's worth is in how she looks. I know Eric loves me as much in sweats as he does in a pretty dress but why not look nice for him especially when it makes him feel loved? There is only one man who I desire to be found attractive by and that is my future spouse. So I look forward to following my mom's example and showing him the clothes I buy to get his opinion. In fact I have already done this when he helped me pick out my dress for his sister's wedding :)

Why not give it a try ladies. Dress up a little for your husband for a few weeks and see the reaction you get...

39 days to go

Eric and I will become husband and wife in just 39 days. Things are getting busier as all the little details have to now come together. I am excited to say that no one has really gotten stressed out yet. People keep asking me if we are stressed or freaking out yet but honestly we are not stressed or freaking out. We are just excited that the day is drawing closer and closer. God is blessing us beyond belief and we just can't wait to become husband and wife! I still sometimes stop and have to realize that this is really happening! These next 39 days will fly by! Please keep us in your prayers as we make final preparations for our special day!

Bridal Shower Bliss

Yesterday my bridesmaids, friend Andi and mom threw me a wonderful bridal shower. The theme was vintage kitchen and thanks to the set decorations from my matron-of-honor's husband's last film the place fit the theme and was adorable! The invitation told everyone to wear their favorite apron to the party and the girls made me one that says Mrs. Mattson (picture below). They also gave everyone a recipe card to fill out so I now have lots of new recipes to try out with all our new kitchen gear.

I feel so blessed and loved by all the planning and hard work (some even driving 4 hours with a migraine) my girlfirends put in to make my shower so great! And I feel so loved by all the women who came and showered me with love and gifts. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by amazing women. It now really does feel like the wedding is just around the corner and I can't wait!

My new apron

Such a cute theme

The amazing gifts

The beautiful hostesses

With my mommy

My soon to be mother-in-law

One of my favorite gifts was my future mother-in-laws LAFD apron now passed dow to me the soon to be LAFD wife

Great to meet my future mother-in-law's beautiful friends

Finally got to snuggle baby Lucas

A few of my mom's "groupies"

Dessert!

Can't wait to read these...

...and try these!

Ms to Mrs

Eric and I picked up our marriage license a few days ago which was a very exciting event. When we looked down to sign the paperwork we saw Robyn Mattson on the line for "new name." It was crazy and exciting to see the name I will forever more have once we are married in October. Reflecting on the excitement of the name change I began to think of all the times I have heard women criticize the tradition of taking the man's name. One that really stands out to me is when women say "but you will lose your identity!" Yes, that is exactly what will happen. My identity as Robyn Gibson will be forever gone. I will take on a new identity as Robyn Mattson (just typing that is fun :). Does this mean I am a different person? Yes, actually it does. I will no longer be "me", from now on it will be "us." I am happy to give up my identity as an individual and become a team, a partnership, and hopefully one day a family. This is not something that is scary or sad or negative in my mind. I have loved being a Gibson and anyone who knows me knows how much I love my dad and am proud to have his name. But my dad helped me pick the best possible spouse and on October 13th he will give me away to this worthy man who I will be joined to. As the two become one flesh it seems only fitting to me that we also bare the same name. Do my parents see this as dishonorable to them? Not at all! My mom was proud to become a Gibson and both of my parents are excited to see me become a Mattson.

One final thought on why I am more than willing and excited to take the Mattson name. When we filled out the paperwork for our marriage license there was the option of having Eric take my name. When I saw that I immediately said "no way! You are the leader of this family and so it is your name that we will bare!" Any who have been following my blog have probably gathered how much I value the leadership role of the husband and father in a family. It will be Eric's job to guide our marriage and family and ultimately lead us all to heaven so it is his name that myself and our future children will bare.

 

Humanae Vitae and Creighton NFP

Today marks the 44th anniversary of the proclamation of the papal document Humanae Vitae, a document in which Pope Paul VI beautifully teaches the value of family and life. This document was written as contraception was on the verge of becoming widely accepted and looking at it now one can see how deeply prophetic it is. Pope Paul VI warns that if society accepts the birth control pill we will see wide spread marital infidelity, disregard for the value of women, and government imposed contraception. We have for years seen the evils of his first two predictions and with the new HHS mandate we see the third coming into full force. All together spooky and amazing if you ask me! When Humanae Vitae was given to the Church many scoffed at it and said the Holy Father was being ridiculous. If only the world had listened to him and trusted the guidance of Holy Mother Church think how much better off society and the family unit would be today.

As I reflect on Humanae Vitae today I think too about the process Eric and I are going through to learn more about the beauty of human fertility. Natural Family Planning is a church approved natural way to achieve or avoid (if serious and grave reasons are present) pregnancy. There are a few forms of NFP out there but the method Eric and I have chosen to learn is the Creighton model. This system of fertility care was designed to treat infertility but can also be used to avoid pregnancy if needed. I love this method because the focus is over all fertility awareness and care. The reason Eric and I specifically love this method is because we are hoping to start a family right away and this method allows us to see the times when pregnancy is most likely to occur as well as identify any potential issues. What is so amazing is that during these few months before our wedding we are working with a Creighton practitioner to make sure my fertility is healthy and that I will be able to first of all get pregnant and second of all be able to sustain a pregnancy. They will be able to identify and treat any possible issues before we are even at the point of trying for a family. Taking these classes has made me deeply aware of the gift of my fertility. On any given day both Eric and I can look at my chart and know exactly what is going on with my cycle. I think of so many women who take pills to suppress their God given system of fertility and I am saddened that in most cases they simply do not know what they are doing to themselves. I am in awe of my body as I watch my chart and see how it works. God is amazing and I can see evidence of Him in the way the body works. I pray today on the anniversary of Humanae Vitae that more woman and men would come to love the precious and amazing gift of fertility, life and family!

If you would like more information on Creighton NFP here is the link for you. If you have ever experienced infertility including miscarriage I HIGHLY recommend you look into this. Creighton has proven to be the most effective at treating infertility.
http://www.creightonmodel.com/

Also here is a link to the encyclical Humanae Vitae.
http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae_en.html

Parker Mattson Family Trip

Sorry I have been MIA for a bit. I have been busy writing papers for grad school and vacationing with Eric's family in Parker, AZ. We had a wonderful trip with the the entire Mattson family. It was Eric's 35th birthday and we celebrated right with lots of yummy food. I had a blast cooking for the group and spoiling my pre-husband (as Big Eric called him). Here are a few pictures Chris captured of the trip!

Big Eric and Chris

Birthday Breakfast Spread

Birthday Flowers for Chris for giving Eric life 35 years ago

My present to Eric was framed copies of his band's CDs

Frosting Eric's birthday cake

The Whole Group

Proverbs 31:15

She rises also while it is still night

And gives food to her household

 

When I read this first line all I could think about was my dear girlfriends who so often get up with a restless baby in order to allow their husband to continue sleeping. What a beautiful sacrifice women make when they sacrifice sleep to care for their family. A good wife will sacrifice even sleep for the good of her family.

 

The second line here about giving food to the household brings me back to a blog post I made several weeks ago about cooking. I really believe this is a great skill that every wife needs to have. They don't say "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" for nothing. Food gives life and is an act of love and charity when done for others. Remember the reference to doing work joyfully from a few lines earlier? That should apply here too. A good wife will spend a lot of time in the kitchen but this can be a beautiful task if seen as an act of love.

 

A little note to any men reading this: 

If your wife cooks for you be gracious and thankful. Even if you think you could have cooked the meal better, don't criticize. Approach each meal with an attitude of thankfulness. It always makes me feel really appreciated when Eric thanks be for cooking for him. He is a great cook himself but he always shows so much gratitude for any meals I make him, not necessarily because they are award winning but because he knows that I cook out of love for him and he appreciates my efforts.

 

Like a Merchant Ship

She is like merchant ships

She brings her food from afar

Merchant ships travel great distances to bring the goods that they carry sometimes having to even endure great storms to get to there. A good wife is much the same, she will go to great lengths to meet the needs of her family. I do not mean to advocate wives working outside the home for I certainy belive that this is the duty of the husband but the needs of the family extend further than monitary support. A good wife will use the resources earned by the hard work of her husband to meet the physical needs of her family. I think this also applies to the emotional and spiritual needs to a family. I can think of so many wives and mothers who stayed awake countless nights praying for wayward children, consoling a sick child who can not sleep, thinking and praying over the work stresses of her spouse, and much more. A good wife will endure great storms with her husband and children in order to help them arrive safely at their destination which is heaven. A merchant ships pushes forward with great strength even when the journey is tough. How many looking back at their mothers would describe them as strong women who often times help the family together during difficulties. The strength of a wife and mother is incredible, just think if the strength of the Blessed Mother as she watched her son die on a cross. Mary endured a great trial and storm that day for the sake of ALL her children.

Words of Wisdom

A small break today from Provrbs 31 to share a great photo I saw today

Willing Hands...

The Catholic RSV translation of Proverbs 31:13 reads "She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands." To be honest I struggled today trying to discover what the Lord is telling us. I did a Google search for reflections on this verse and found that a lot of women believe it means a good wife is resourceful with her money. I agree that she is but I think their might be more to this verse than that because this is a Queen talking to her son who is a King so I am not sure being thrifty was a concern to her. Prayerfully digging further my mind started to focus more on the last two words "willing hands." Being a wife involves work; there are duties that she is responsible for and reflecting on these last two words of this verse I began to see the importance of doing those duties willingly and with joy. Another translation says she "works with her hands in delight." Saint Therese taught that we can serve God in the small things. Maybe one of the messages God is conveying to us through this passage is the importance of finding joy even in the seemingly unpleasant duties of family life. One might grumble about having to clean the house or get the kids to soccer practice or do her husbands laundry but how much better would it be if we saw those chores as opportunities to lovingly serve? How much more joy would it bring to every day if we approached each little bit of work as an act of love for our family and for Our Lord? Proverbs 31 is all about being a good wife. Maybe part of being a good wife is as simple as being joyful about the every day work and duties that are part of this great vocation.

She does him good and not evil...

"She does him good and not evil all the days of her life"

This verse from Proverbs 31 I think is the most straight forward and easy to understand but can be the most difficult sometimes to live out. We live in a culture where love is understood to be an emotion and when we don't "feel" love we assume we aren't really in love anymore, hence high divorce rates. Love is not an emotion it is a choice. If we want to know what love is we need to look to Christ who is the source of all love. What was Christ's supreme act of love? He died on a cross for us. Do you think he "felt" good at that moment? Of course not, so love is not about how we feel. Love is a choice to do what is best for the beloved. I know that there will be times in marriage when love will be tough. I am sure some people look at my blog posts and say "they are still in the honeymoon stage of love and she has no idea how tough it will be and how hard it will become to live out the things she writes about (actually I have already had people tell me this)." I agree that we are in the honeymoon phase of love (and I love it!) and I understand that life long love is a challenge but I do not agree that means I won't be able to live out the things about which I write. If a woman really loves her husband than she will work at every moment to act in ways that are best for him. Out of love for us God humbled himself, became man, and died a very painful death. God is not going to ask me to hang on a cross for my spouse but he is going to ask me to die to myself for him. Will this be easy? If I try to do it on my own it will be impossible; if I do it with Christ it will absolutely be possible. At every moment God gives us the grace we need to do His will  and to love others the way he loves them. My future spouse is not perfect and neither am I but in our imperfection God perfectly love us. With the grace of God helping us we can chose at every moment to love each other. One great piece if practical advice I recently heard that has helped with this is whenever there is tension stop and pray the rosary before you discuss the issue. Through that prayer Our Lady will help clear your mind, unite the husband and wife in prayer and center them on Christ before they discuss the issue at hand.

A good wife does her husband good and not evil all the days of his life. Lord, grant that myself and all women remember this verse any time we are tempted to nag, snap at, ridcule, or do anything with a lack of love towards our husbands. Help us to use you as our model and love even when the other does not appear worthy of our love. Give us the grace to persevere in love throughout our entire lives and never take for granted to love of our spouse. May we work every day to love our hubands more and better than we did the previous day. And when we fail to love help us to rely on you to seek forgiveness and seek your grace to avoid falling again.

The heart of her husband trusts in her...

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain.

 

One of the readings that will be read and mine and Eric's wedding mass is the controversial Ephesians 5. You know, the one that says "wives be submissive to your husbands..." and gets all the feminists up in arms? We chose that reading for a few reasons, first because it is beautiful and so true and second because people who reject it usually don't understand it and we wanted to give Fr. Thomas an opportunity to preach on it so those present at the wedding can hear just how beautiful those words are when properly understood. How does this connect to my verse from Proverbs 31 today? Submitting to ones husband is often misunderstood to believe that it means the woman has no say in anything. Fr. Thomas recently told Eric and I that he is the king of the home but I am his great counselor. Eric being my leader does not mean that he does whatever he wants and I have to just comply. If I am the good wife that Proverbs 31 speaks about then Eric will be able to trust my counsel and when making decisions he will think of me and my desires. Husbands will undoubtedly need guidance and help too as they make big decisions for the family. If the husband knows that his wife has given herself completely to the will of God he will be able to trust her when she offers him support and counsel. If the husband has a God serving wife her counsel with leave him with "no lack of gain" because she will be striving to support him and help him lead the family on the path to heaven. This verse inspires me because it reminds me how great a benefit it is to my beloved for me to be a good wife. What a joy it will be for him to believe that he can trust with his whole heart the woman he has chosen to spend his life with.

"For her worth is far above jewels"

As I reflected on this second line in Proverbs 31 I kept thinking that what is said to have worth above jewels is a good wife, not a successful working woman or highly educated individual. Too often people look down upon women who are homemakers. Kimberly Han was once asked "what do you do to use your brain?" Are you kidding me? Being a wife and mother uses not only your brain but also your heart, soul, emotions, and body as well. Society tells woman today to go to college and get a great job and then IF you choose to have children hire someone else to care for them because you have more to offer this world. Some women are given amazing talents and gifts that would greatly benefit the world but is that worth more than jewels? I am a teacher and I love what I do but that isn't my vocation. I will gladly give that up so I can follow the path God has called me to. Being a teacher is great but being a good wife and homemaker has a worth far above jewels. You may ask me why I jumped from good wife to mother. I believe the two go hand in hand because one of the fruits of marriage is new life. The greatest gift I will ever give my future husband is children so being a good mother and  good wife are connected.

To any wives and mothers out their reading this, thank you for what you do! You are building a more successful and faithful society one diaper at a time.

Proverbs 31:10- one more thought

I had one more thought today about Proverbs 31:10...

I wonder how many married men upon hearing the question "who can find a good wife" would say not them? I wonder how many men thought they found a good wife only years later to realize that she has wearied in her commitment to her vocation? Ladies we need to stop often and look at ourselves and our marriage and ask if we are still as committed to being a great wife as we were on our honeymoon. Of course challenges make it more difficult but that doesn't mean we stop trying. God has called every married woman to a very specific vocation. I am not just called to marriage, my vocation has a name and his name is Eric. I pray that I never weary in my commitment to be a good wife to Eric and that every day from Oct 13 until death does part us he will be able to say that yes he has a good wife (or at least one who gives everything shes got to try to be a good wife).

"Who can find a good wife?" -Proverbs 31:10

Proverbs 31:10-31 is written by a Queen mother to her son advising him of the qualities he should be looking for in a wife. This section open with the question "who can find a good wife?" The first thing that comes to mind for me is, what does she mean by good? There are a lot of "good" people in this world and there are a lot of good women. Clearly though the queen is not going to be satisfied with her son marrying a run of the mill good woman. As we read on we will see that the queen's standards are pretty high. So how should we measure goodness? It seems to me that since God is the source of all all that is good, He should be the standard by which goodness is judged. So as I reflect on the first line of this part of scripture I realize that in order to be a good wife I must first be a good daughter, a good daughter to God who is my ultimate king. I think Kimberly Hahn puts it beautifully when she writes "a godly woman is good by God's standards: She possesses moral perfection, which is only possible in Christ." I believe with all my heart that if I keep God first in my life and live everyday trying to be "good" in His eyes that I will also grow in my ability to be a good wife. From my love for God will my love for my husband flow. Loving God and being in relationship with him will every day reveal to me greater ways that I can love my husband and be "good" in his eyes as well.

Proverbs 31

As I prepare to be a wife I have been reading and meditating on Scritpure verses that talk about marriage, women, and wives. Proverbs 31:10-31 is titled "description of a worthy wife." I have decided that I am going to spend the next 20 or so days meditating in depth upon what God is telling us through these verses. I will post about what I find and pray that God will lead me and any other woman who follows along to discover more deeply the beauty of a godly wife. Here is the full text for you to read today.

An excellent wife, who can find?

For her worth is far above jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life.

She looks for wool and flax

And works with her ^[h]hands ^[i]in delight.

She is like merchant ships;

She brings her food from afar.

She rises also while it is still night

And gives food to her household

And ^[j]portions to her maidens.

She considers a field and buys it;

From ^[k]her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She girds ^[l]herself with strength

And makes her arms strong.

She senses that her gain is good;

Her lamp does not go out at night.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff,

And her ^[m]hands grasp the spindle.

She ^[n] extends her hand to the poor,

And she stretches out her hands to the needy.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household,

For all her household are clothed with scarlet.

She makes coverings for herself;

Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,

And ^[o]supplies belts to the ^[p]tradesmen.

Strength and dignity are her clothing,

And she smiles at the ^[q]future.

She opens her mouth in wisdom,

And the ^[r]teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

She looks well to the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and bless her;

Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

“Many daughters have done nobly,

But you excel them all.”

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

But a woman who ^[s] fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Give her the ^[t]product of her hands,

And let her works praise her in the gates.

6 Monthiversary

On June 10th Eric and I celebrated 6 months since our first date. Due to his work schedule and our Parker boat trip we postponed our celebration until yesterday. Eric surprised me and took me on my dream date. Before I tell you the details I should let you know that he had much fun watching me try for days to figure out where we were going. Each day he gave me one clue: wear clothes good for walking around, it is in the LA area, bring my appetite for a great lunch, leave at 10:30 and return before traffic...I was stumped until the morning of the date when somehow I finally guessed right. Years ago I told my best friend that I thought the most romantic date would be to have lunch and walk around the Huntington Library and Gardens. I had been there once and saw cute couples sitting together on benches and just thought it looked so sweet. She apparently mentioned this to Eric several months ago and he stored the idea away for future use. I was so excited when I figured out where we were going and couldn't believe that he made yet another one of my dreams come true! We had lunch at the Rose Garden Tea House, walked around all the gardens, looked in the art gallery, and even stopped to snuggle on a bench. Here are a few pictures from the day...

Lunch at the tea house included delicious finger sandwiches, salads, cheese and crackers, fruit, mini desserts, and of course tea

"One lump or two?"

The rose gardens were beautiful and smelled amazing

The highlight of the day for Eric was seeing the Gutenberg Bible

Somethings not quite right here...

Perfect end to a perfect day

"All is grace" -St. Therese

Engagement Pictures

We had a blast on Thursday taking engagement pictures with the amazingly talented Marcie Jane. For those who don't know, Marcie is Eric's cousin and one of the most talented photographers I have ever seen. If you know someone getting married in Southern California or someplace tropical (I bet she would be happy to travel :), tell them to check out Marcie Jane Photography. We did our engagement shoot in Old Town San Diego. Marcie remarked that we are naturals...how can you not be when all you have to do is gaze at and smooch the person you love. The pictures won't be ready for a few weeks but I promise to post a few when we get them as I am sure they are going to look fabulous!

http://www.marciejanephoto.com/index2.php#/home/

"All is grace" -St. Therese

First Boat Trip

Earlier this week Eric took me on our first boat trip to Parker Arizona. Brett and Matt (a firefighter friend from Las Vegas) went with us too. We had a wonderful time and I can definitely see these being our vacations for years and years to come!

Some highlights of this trip included:
The ski chair (a resurrected childhood classic boat toy of Eric and Brett)
Me getting up on both the ski chair and the knee board (next trip I will take on the wake board)
A late night taco bell run
And of course, the casino buffet

Here are a few pictures from our trip:

Excited for my first boat trip

 

All suited up to ride the tube

Not my favorite, Eric might now be deaf on his right ear

Ready to try the ski chair

Up on my first try!

Eric on the ski chair- brings back childhood memories for him :)

Next challenge: The knee board

Eric on the wake board

Brett and Matt had a lot of fun thinking of goofy things to do

Crazy boys

Beautiful

I am counting down the days until the next trip!

"All is grace" -St. Therese